2000 to 2010

10 years ago I was still hung over from Y2-OK. It was the first full year of "our" marriage. "we" lived in Chicago. It was the first year I would have to learn to live without being able to pick up the phone to call my mother. It was also the year I would have to accept the fact that my father married my mother's sister. I was lost. I was scared. I was very much alone even when I had people around me. I drank to forget. I stumbled through... we all watched with horror as the home land was attacked... "we" had just moved to New Mexico (for his work) and I was home alone when Marlon called to tell me to turn on the TV. I sat in the closet with Biggie not sure where to go or what to do until it was time to go to class... Life slowed down people everywhere started being a little nicer. I bought a Harley and learned to ride it, I finished my college degree. "we" moved to Paris, Arkansas (for his work) "we" gutted a house and tried to hold on to what was left. Half way into that decade I gave up and said good bye to "we" so "he" could always remain a friend. *side note that's harder to type then I thought* I began a journey on my own... I got by with a little help from my friends. I spent a few night's at the Larese's, I lived on Shevy's sofa, The Worlow's opened up thier guest room and I slowly began to rebuild myself. A year in a rental house with my amazing friend Blu and then in Octobor of 2006 I took a big leap and bought a house only to be fired (for the first time ever in my life) one month later. *that was a harder hit then I would ever admit* I was thankful to my friend Joe who taught me the baby steps I stood back up dusted off my pride and jumped back in. I slung cotton and snapped some photos and honestly just regained my sanity. slowly. I started making it happen. I found out what happens when you don't take good care of yourself (fyi you end up in the ER with a BIg bill) I put down the bottle and I repaired my relationship with God. I found love again... found out how far it can really test you and how strong it can be if you hold on. I reconnected with those who I had lost and although they may not realize they make me smile with the most simple status updates or the "thumbs up" of a photo and they all helped in many ways to keep me sane as I left the comfort of Nashville (USA) for work. I traveled farther which allowed me to I find out that at the end of the day Home really is HOME SWEET HOME.

In 2010...

I want to chose my words a little better. . I will speak up. I will learn to ENJOY life and NOT STRESS about what is next. I will Learn to TRUST and to BELIEVE in myself and those around me. I will RUN phycially and not mentally.